Screens: The Good, and the Not-So-Good 

The truth is, screens are not inherently bad. They are tools that provide many benefits when used properly. But, there is a downside when usage becomes compulsive and interferes with sleep, mood, school, or real-life relationships. 

Here’s a quick look at from a source by Children’s Hospital of Orange County (CHOC), at how screen time can help or hurt across different age groups: 

Screen time isn’t all the same as educational screen time could potentially enhance mental health. However, too much unstructured screen use, like endless videos or games, has been associated with delayed language development in toddlers and behavioural issues in older Children. That’s why setting healthy boundaries early is essential. 

The Benefits of Healthy Boundaries  

Studies show excessive screen use has been linked to anxiety, depression, and attention issues. But screens aren’t the problem; it’s how we use them. Since screens are here to stay, a balanced approach can bring several benefits, like: 

• Improved mental health: Reduced anxiety and stress

• Better sleep: Less exposure to screen glare before bedtime 

• Stronger social skills: More real-world, face-to-face interactions 

• More quality family time: More presence and less distraction 

We can help our Children by:  

• Choosing educational or creative apps 

• Encouraging them to stop scrolling before bed 

• Using screen time together to experience and reflect  

We want to empower our children and youths to use screen time wisely and ensure they aren't controlled by them. 

Why Parents Matter Most 

Parents are the primary role models for their children, and Children learn by observing their actions. If we're always on our phones at dinner or checking emails first thing in the morning, they will notice and copy our behaviours. Instead, show them the importance of balance - reading, talking, and playing together. If we want our children to have less screen time, we must also practice it, because how we behave speaks louder than what we say. 

Parents who set mindful boundaries instead of strict rules tend to achieve better results. Here are some practical tips for role-modelling: 

Family Tech Rules  

Create a charging station in the living room where everyone (parents, too!) can park their phones at bedtime. 

Screen-Free Rituals 

Go screen-free during dinner, story time, or a family morning walk to bond over honest conversations instead. This fosters connection and improves family relationships. 

Use Tech Together 

Instead of banning games, join in. Ask your child to teach you how they play. It’s a great way to show interest, stay connected, and talk about what feels fun or draining. 

Praise Positive Digital Actions 

When your teen puts the phone away to focus on homework, notice it and say something encouraging. A little praise goes a long way than constant reminders. 

In Buddhism, this kind of steady support is called being a virtuous friend on the path. And that’s really what parents are: the child’s first real friend, showing up, guiding gently, and building trust along the way. 

Mindfulness as a Shield Against FOMO

FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is common among teens, especially with social media showing everyone’s best moments. It can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, and the constant feeling of not being enough.

Instead of reacting or comparing, mindfulness helps young people pause and notice their feelings, without judging them. Say, for instance, your teen sees a post of friends at a party they weren’t invited to. Rather than telling them to forget about it, we can acknowledge their feelings and guide them on how they can acknowledge it and respond kindly to themselves. It’s not easy to feel left out, but that moment doesn’t define their worth. By practising mindfulness, they shift their focus from “Why was I left out?” to “What do I need right now?” 

Mindfulness also teaches them to be more aware of the bigger picture. It reminds them that online content is often curated and doesn’t give the whole story. This awareness can reduce the pressure to “keep up” and foster healthier screen habits.

Parents, too, can set an example by putting phones away at dinner, taking screen breaks, and engaging in real conversations. Mindfulness isn’t just about meditation. It’s about being present intentionally, with kindness and compassion towards ourselves and our surroundings. 

Community Role & Support 

While parents lay the foundation, a supportive community helps reinforce those values and habits. Being around others like the Sangha or spiritual community who care about presence and balance, makes it easier to walk this path together. 

At our temple near Jalan Besar, we’re for technology. We see it as a helpful tool for learning and staying connected when used with care. However, through our Thekchen Choling Youth Leagues programme, youth-led activities like badminton sessions and forest hikes give teens the space to unplug, build confidence, and connect in real life, without feeling like they’re missing out.

Towards a Screen-Healthy Family 

Screens are part of modern life. We can’t cut them out completely but we can focus on how to use them to support our well-being, growth, and connection. Finding that balance takes time, and it looks different for every family. But it is possible to do it with gentle guidance, mindful habits, and a strong support system. 

If you’re seeking thoughtful down-to-earth guidance to bring more presence and calm into your daily life, we encourage you to explore our Dharma programmes and courses at Thekchen Choling in Jalan Besar or check out our YouTube channel for teachings by Singha Rinpoche.  

Let’s swap the endless scroll for real conversations, shared moments, and more peace, one mindful step at a time.