Living with Impermanence: Dealing With Change In Everyday Life
It’s a windy day.
Clouds drift across the bright blue sky. Shapes appear, linger briefly, and are gone, constantly changing form.
Life is a lot like that; constantly shifting, with no single moment lasting forever. Yet, as humans, we tend to cling to things as if they’ll remain the same forever, creating challenges when things inevitably change.
The idea of impermanence in Buddhism truly gets to the core of our experiences. It means that everything around us is always changing—our feelings, things, relationships, and even our bodies. In Buddhist teachings, accepting this constant change is key to finding peace and dealing with the ups and downs of life. But why is it so difficult to go with the flow? And how can we handle it better?
Let’s dive into these questions and look at practical ways to live more peacefully with change.
What is Impermanence?
In Buddhism, impermanence is a beautiful concept that emphasises that everything is constantly changing. Nothing in life stays the same, and that is normal. It’s not about making us feel hopeless; it’s a way to help us see things more clearly. When we get too attached to specific outcomes or desires, we often end up feeling disappointed.
It’s like trying to hold onto water; no matter how hard we grip, it slips through our fingers. Our bodies, achievements, and even our relationships will change or fade away eventually. The trick is to embrace this reality without letting fear or sadness take over and to find beauty in the uniqueness of each moment.
Impermanence doesn't just apply to the “big stuff”, like life changes or relationships. It is also relevant to our everyday feelings and experiences. It can feel heavy when we are angry or frustrated, but if we just observe those feelings and let them be, we’ll eventually realise that this too shall pass, just like the clouds drifting in the sky. Once we understand this, we are less likely to let negative emotions run our lives, and we can find more peace in the natural flow of things.
Why Embracing Change is Essential for Well-Being
Accepting that things change isn’t always easy. Humans naturally want to resist change, whether in relationships, routines, or how we see ourselves. But did you know that embracing change might boost your well-being? According to Positive Psychology, it can make us more resilient and help reduce anxiety. When we resist change, it adds stress because we’re trying to keep things “as is” when they can’t stay that way. The reality is that life is unpredictable, and by acknowledging this, we can better handle how we react to change, even if we can't control the change itself.
“It is not impermanence that makes us suffer. What makes us suffer is wanting things to be permanent when they are not.”~ Thich Nhat Hanh, 2015
Think about it in everyday situations—like when you're changing jobs or going through a personal transition. These moments can feel pretty overwhelming, but if you accept them as part of life’s journey, it can bring some peace. Knowing that any discomfort won’t last forever can help you tackle new challenges with less fear and more openness. Instead of getting frustrated when things don’t go as planned, try to see it as an opportunity to learn something new or experience life a bit differently.
Embracing Impermanence Daily
One of the most practical ways to make peace with impermanence is through mindfulness, a Buddhist core practice. Practising mindfulness means being fully in the moment and simply observing your thoughts and feelings without getting too attached to them. A super simple way to do this is by paying attention to your breath—just noticing how it flows in and out. It’s a great reminder that, like everything else, our breath comes and goes, mirroring life’s ups and downs.
Mindfulness also encourages us to observe our thoughts and reactions without judgment. For instance, if you’re feeling disappointed or frustrated, take a moment to recognise that this feeling, too, will pass. Just like clouds drift in the sky, your emotions and thoughts will shift. Mindfulness can help you remain calm even in challenging situations as you become less attached to how things “should” turn out.
Another helpful technique is to focus on gratitude in the present. Instead of worrying about future changes or losses, take a moment to appreciate what you have now. Gratitude keeps us grounded in the present and makes it easier to roll with changes when they happen.
Practical Tips for Dealing with Change
View Challenges as Learning Opportunities
Instead of seeing setbacks as losses, try to see them as ways to learn, grow, or gain new perspectives. What can you learn from these moments? This mindset helps transform setbacks into growth moments, helping you build resilience and become more adaptable to deal with life’s twists and turns.Be Flexible
Being prepared for change makes handling it easier. Build a support network, develop transferable skills and balance responsibilities to avoid overcommitting. Being flexible helps you adjust when things change, ensuring you’re not relying too heavily on just one outcome.Hold Goals Lightly
While it’s good to have goals as they give us direction, becoming too attached can make unexpected changes feel like failures. Instead, think of goals as guideposts rather than fixed destinations. Focus on the journey instead of fixating on the result.Cultivate Gratitude
Appreciate the present moment without assuming it will last. When you focus on what you have right now, you help your mind discover the value in each moment, rather than worrying about what the future may bring. Try a daily gratitude practice, such as writing down three things you’re grateful for. Gratitude helps you embrace what’s happening now, making it easier to accept change when it comes.Embrace Imperfection
Life is messy, and often, it doesn’t go as planned. Instead of striving for perfection in everything you do, allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them. It’s okay to have flaws—imperfections can lead to growth. When you let go of the need to be perfect, you open yourself up to new experiences and learning opportunities, making you more adaptable and resilient to change.
Conclusion
Learning to live with impermanence is not about becoming indifferent or detached from life. It is about appreciating each moment fully, knowing it won’t last forever. Every experience, whether joyful or challenging, is an opportunity to learn and grow, to deepen our understanding of ourselves and the world around us. When we stop trying to control everything and let life unfold, it usually leads to greater peace and happiness. By accepting impermanence, we become liberated, opening ourselves to a world of possibilities.
As we become better at accepting impermanence, we may become more adaptable, compassionate, and even more grateful. Every day is an opportunity to live fully, appreciate what we have, and let go gracefully when it’s time. Life is, after all, like those clouds in the sky—constantly changing but beautiful in its ever-shifting forms.
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