What Is Tonglen?

Pema Chödrön, a well-known Buddhist teacher, author and Tonglen expert, describes Tonglen as a practice where “we take in the pain of others with the in-breath and send out relief with the out-breath.”

Tonglen, meaning “sending and receiving” in Tibetan, is a meditation practice that flips our usual approach to suffering; it challenges our instinct to avoid pain. Rather than avoiding pain and chasing after comfort, Tonglen encourages us to embrace suffering—both our own and others—to lessen it. This mind-training technique that uses breath to transform the suffering of others is about reversing our natural tendencies and, in doing so, fostering a deep sense of connection and compassion for all beings.

The Purpose Behind Tonglen

The purpose of Tonglen is to help us become less self-centred and more attuned to the suffering of others. It’s human nature to protect ourselves from discomfort, but Tonglen teaches us to face it with an open heart. By willingly taking in suffering and sending out love, we are praying to help others and cultivate a sense of unity with all beings. This practice is less about feeling good and more about genuinely wanting the best for others and cultivating our Bodhicitta heart. Tonglen awakens our compassion and opens us up to a broader perspective of reality.

When and Who Can Practice Tonglen?

You can practice Tonglen anytime, anywhere, especially during distress or when you know someone else is suffering. Whether dealing with your pain or witnessing someone else’s, Tonglen can transform that suffering into compassion. It’s a versatile practice that can be done during a meditation session or mindfully throughout your day.

The beauty of Tonglen is that anyone can do it. You don’t need to be a seasoned meditator or a Buddhist practitioner. All it takes is a willingness to open your heart and mind. Whether navigating personal challenges, feeling overwhelmed by global suffering, or simply wanting to deepen your empathy, Tonglen is a practice that can benefit everyone. However, as the practice will need us to face difficult emotions, we may not know how to deal with it ourselves. It is thus best to follow a qualified Guru or meditation teacher on this practice.

Benefits of Tonglen

Practising Tonglen regularly can bring a range of benefits, both for yourself and those you visualise in your meditation:

• Builds Compassion: Tonglen strengthens your ability to feel compassion for others by consciously observing their pain and suffering.
  
  

• Shifts Focus from Yourself: It helps you move beyond your worries by focusing on the needs of others, broadening your perspective on suffering.
  
  

• Helps You Heal: Connecting with others who have gone through similar struggles can help you work through your difficulties and lead to healing.
  
  

• Creates Connection: Tonglen reminds you that we’re all in this together, fostering a sense of unity and shared humanity.
  
  

• Regulates Emotions: With regular practice, Tonglen can help you stay calm and soothe intense emotions like anger, fear, or sadness.
  
  

• Inspires Kindness: Over time, you may find yourself naturally inclined to do kind things for others, driven by genuine concern for their well-being.
  
  

• Brings Inner Peace: As you repeatedly send out love and compassion, Tonglen can leave you feeling more peaceful inside, benefiting you and those around you.
  

The positive energy and compassion you generate through Tonglen can create a ripple effect, influencing your actions and interactions with others. Over time, this can contribute to a more compassionate and understanding environment, benefiting others around us.

How to Practice Tonglen

Tonglen is all about cultivating Bodhicitta, the awakened heart-mind of a Bodhisattva—someone dedicated to the well-being of all beings, putting their happiness before their own. You can practice it as a formal meditation or in the moment when compassion is needed.

To get started, find a comfortable spot where you can sit quietly. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing, letting it become calm and steady. As you breathe in, imagine taking in the suffering of others—picture their pain, fear, or sadness as a dark, heavy cloud. Allow this cloud to enter your body, but instead of letting it overwhelm you, transform it. As you breathe out, send out a bright, warm energy, offering relief, comfort, and peace.

To see how this works in real life, imagine a scenario we all might face. For instance, think about a situation where you feel angry with a colleague who has made a mistake that inconveniences you. Instead of letting anger take over, try Tonglen. As you inhale, imagine taking in your colleague’s suffering—perhaps they feel ashamed, frustrated, or overwhelmed. As you exhale, send them compassion and healing energy, wishing them peace and happiness.

Practising Tonglen doesn’t mean excusing the actions that caused your anger. Instead, it helps you understand the other person’s experience, which can lead to a more empathetic and kind response.

Conclusion

Tonglen is more than just a meditation technique; it’s a way of life that encourages us to face suffering with compassion and courage. Through its practice, we learn to transform pain into love and empathy—not just for ourselves but for all beings.

This article introduces the wisdom of Tonglen but to engage in the actual practice and know more in-depth teachings on this practice, it is vital to find a qualified Guru to guide you on the path. If you’re keen to learn how to practice Tonglen, find a qualified Guru. Then, start slowly and be gentle with yourself. Through regular practice, Tonglen can make life more comforting and help you navigate life’s ups and downs with more ease.

Remember, the goal of Tonglen isn’t to solve all the world’s problems overnight. Instead, it’s about cultivating a heart that is open and willing to take in the suffering of others. By embracing this practice, we can each contribute to a more compassionate and connected world.

If Tonglen intrigues you, and you want to learn more about how Buddhism is relevant to our contemporary life, do join our weekly teachings by Singha Rinpoche! Click here to follow our telegram to keep updated about our happenings.

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.

Without them, humanity cannot survive.”
– Dalai Lama