Patience also helps us deal with anger. Anger, the opposite of patience, wishes harm on others, so it is violent and intense, like fire. On the other hand, patience is the antidote to anger and aggression––a virtue we can cultivate to benefit ourselves and others.

When we are patient, we don’t let anger or any of the many forms of impatience, such as rage or hate, take over our conscious mind. Instead, we care about others and refrain from focusing on ourselves, which keeps us calm during challenging moments.

There are three kinds of patience:

1. Patience with enemies

We will benefit greatly if we practice patience with our enemies. By seeing our enemies as the Buddha, we engage in thought transformation practices that will help us develop patience on the path to enlightenment. As enlightenment is impossible without the perfection of patience, we are deeply grateful to the sentient beings who are testing our patience.

2. Patience with suffering

There may be times when we go through sufferings such as poverty of food, clothing, and experiencing diseases. During these difficult times, we can experience this suffering by practicing patience with these hardships. By voluntarily enjoying practicing patience and taking on these sufferings, we progress further on the path to enlightenment.  

3. Patience of certainty towards the Dharma

We require great patience and perseverance on the path to enlightenment. Thus, it is important to generate faith from the heart to the Three Jewels – Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. Having certainty about the Dharma means always abiding in the wish to continuously practice the Dharma no matter what the circumstances may be.

Why We Need Patience

Patience is more important than ever, especially in a rapidly moving world. We must cultivate patience to become more resilient to challenges and weather life’s storms.

For our spiritual practice, patience is essential to cultivating inner peace and deepening our understanding of ourselves, others, and the world around us. It fosters spiritual growth and acceptance of impermanence, bringing us closer to enlightenment.

Moreover, patience is important in building meaningful and lasting relationships with spouses, parents, children, friends, or acquaintances. Sadly, in our quest for efficiency and achievements, we often overlook the needs and feelings of others. But when we practice patience, we become empathetic and view others with compassion, thereby strengthening our connections with them. We listen without judgment, understand their perspectives, and respond with kindness and understanding.

Patience has the transformative power to break the cycle of reactivity and promote more mindful responses. For example, imagine you’re driving, and suddenly, someone cuts into your lane without signalling. You may get angry and start shouting at them, which could escalate into a road rage and causes harm to both you and the other party.  However, if you instead applied patience and viewed the situation with compassion, seeing that the other party has blind spots regarding their rash and inconsiderate decisions, then not only do you feel less agitated, but you have more compassion towards the other person which progresses you further on the path to enlightenment.

Patience teaches us to act more appropriately in any situation, causing less harm in our interactions and fostering greater well-being. In short, practicing patience is world-changing! 

Signs of Practice ~ Dudjom Rinpoche

Calm and self-control are signs of listening to the Dharma; 

Few passions, signs of meditation; 

Harmony with everyone is the sign of a practitioner; 

Your mind at ease, the sign of accomplishment.

How to Practice Patience in Our Daily Life

Can we train in patience? Most definitely! Like any skill we want to gain in life, we must first want it and understand why we want it, and the rest of the work is all about consistent practice. 

What helps us practice patience is, first and foremost, to be patient with ourselves. We learn to sit and relax with our emotions, such as anger, boredom, envy, and hatred. By noticing our agitations more clearly, we can accept them without judgment. Rather than ignoring, we get curious about the emotions we are going through. This enables us to look more deeply at what is happening inside us. Through such mindful investigation, we discover our pain stems from something we are attached to. Then we’ll realise we have a choice: to hold on or let go, soften or harden ourselves. Making a choice may not necessarily come easy, too, and this is where we can again apply patience – by being compassionate and gentle with ourselves. Wait, and the answer will come eventually. This is when patience is developing loving-kindness for our imperfections and limitations.  

Conclusion

Patience is the key to finding peace and contentment amid life’s chaos. It is both wisdom and strength. By cultivating patience, we can deepen our relationships, find more happiness, and live more easily and joyfully.

For more information on Buddhism’s profound wisdom, visit Thekchen Choling and explore how our teachings and courses can enrich and transform your life.