Is Buddhism All About Suffering?
“I heard that in Buddhism, if you want to attain enlightenment, you must first suffer.”
"Buddhism teaches us that life is all about suffering.”
Are these statements accurate?
Many people, when they first hear about Buddhism, tend to think it’s all about suffering, which can seem bleak and pessimistic. This impression stems from Buddha’s Four Noble Truths, which acknowledge that suffering is part of life. But is suffering the main takeaway of Buddhism? Not exactly. Rather than presenting a pessimistic view, Buddhism encourages a balanced approach, embracing life’s joys and challenges. Singha Rinpoche, our Guru at Thekchen Choling (located at Jalan Besar), says, “Buddhism is not about suffering. It’s about the willingness to embrace life, where there is suffering, happiness, and a path to fulfilling happiness.”
Let’s explore what suffering means in Buddhism, how it arises, and why it can be an opportunity for deeper understanding.
What is Suffering?
We experience many different types of suffering. According to Buddha, all are included in three categories: the suffering of suffering, the suffering of change and all-pervasive suffering.
Suffering of suffering refers to things such as headaches and sicknesses. Even animals recognize this kind of suffering and, like us, want to be free from it. Because beings have a fear of and experience discomfort from these kinds of suffering, they engage in various activities to eliminate them.
Suffering of change refers to situations where, for example, we are sitting very comfortably relaxed and at first, everything seems all right, but after a while we lose that feeling and get restless and uncomfortable.
All-pervasive suffering is the third type of suffering. It is called all-pervasive, the suffering of pervasive compounding, because it acts as the basis of the first two.
However, Buddha’s teachings were not meant to be pessimistic. On the contrary, they acknowledge that we all face challenges––we cling to constantly changing things, leading to disappointments.
Teacher and writer Sharon Salzberg describes suffering as the mental tension we create when we hold on to the idea that life should always be comfortable. “This is the teaching of the Buddha: the truth of suffering is also the path to the end of suffering,” she explains. Recognising suffering isn’t meant to make us feel hopeless; it’s intended to help us see life’s ebb and flow more clearly.
Why Do We Experience Suffering?
We all know that pain and loss are universal experiences–– they are part of being human. This can be hard to accept, especially when our culture emphasises pursuing happiness as the end goal. In Buddhism, it’s not about ignoring or escaping difficult feelings, but acknowledging and understanding them. Suffering isn’t a punishment or something to avoid; it’s simply part of life.
The Buddha’s Four Noble Truths:
The truth of suffering
The truth of the cause of suffering
The truth of the cessation of suffering
The truth of the path to the cessation of suffering
Understanding the causes of suffering can help explain why we often feel let down. Usually, suffering arises from clinging to what we want or resisting what we don’t.
These principles aim to show us that we can respond to suffering differently. Rather than feeling helpless, we are empowered with knowledge and tools that guide us towards peace.
For instance, let’s say you’ve been holding onto a relationship that has started feeling distant. Maybe your friend has moved on to a new stage of life, or you’ve grown in different directions. The sadness from clinging to this idea of “how it used to be” can create pain. Holding on to an unfulfilling relationship out of fear of change or staying in a draining job to avoid uncertainty are examples of this attachment to control.
Buddhism teaches that life’s nature is constantly in flux, and our attachment to control is often what brings us discomfort.
Embracing Suffering as a Path to Growth
What if we could see suffering as a teacher? Rather than trying to run from life’s challenges, we see it as an invitation to understand ourselves better. This does not mean we seek out pain. Instead, we approach difficulties with a mindset open to learning. When we do this, suffering becomes less of a burden and more of a guide.
Singha Rinpoche explains that Buddhism is about “the willingness to embrace life,” including joy and sorrow. This mindset means we don’t just focus on the challenging parts; we also learn how to find happiness and peace. Happiness isn’t always the significant milestones—it’s often in the small moments of balance, kindness, and presence.
Practical Tips to Cope with Suffering
So, is there anything we can do to ease our suffering? Yes, there is! Here are some coping strategies you can take.
Accept Impermanence: Everything in life is constantly changing. When we understand that nothing is truly permanent, it becomes easier to let go of our tight grip on control.
Observe Emotions Mindfully: Instead of trying to push away difficult emotions, observe them without judgment. Like clouds in the sky, emotions come and go. By watching them mindfully, we learn not to get too caught up in their intensity.
Embrace Imperfection: Life isn’t perfect, and neither are we. By letting go of rigid expectations for how things “should” be, we can be more flexible and accepting of life’s natural flow.
Practice Loving-Kindness: Extend compassion to yourself and others. Recognising that everyone experiences difficulties can help us build kinder relationships and foster mutual support.
Focus on What You Can Control: While we can’t control every aspect of life, we can choose how we respond. We can feel empowered rather than overwhelmed by focusing on what’s within our reach.
A Path of Joy, Not Just Suffering
So, while Buddhism talks about suffering, it’s not a depressing path. It’s about understanding suffering so that it doesn’t control us. Once we know this, we can see Buddhism as a guide that helps us embrace life fully—with a sense of joy and purpose. We realise that suffering is just one part of the human experience and that we can create a life of balance and peace through mindfulness, compassion and patience.
Buddhism teaches that we can grow from suffering, find joy in our daily experiences, and don’t have to fear life’s hardships. It’s not about always trying to be happy but finding steady contentment no matter what happens. By practising these ideas, we start to see suffering not as something to dread but as a chance to learn, grow, and find peace.
If you’re curious about these teachings, visit our temple at Jalan Besar and explore our Dharma courses, talks, and teachings. There’s a whole community here ready to support you on your journey! For live updates on our events and activities, follow our Telegram channel.