Teaching Children to Embrace Differences
You’re at a playground with your child when they point at another child and ask, “Mommy, why does he talk funny?”
or “Why are her skin and hair so white?” How would you react in that situation? As a parent or caregiver, you might feel a little embarrassed or unsure how to respond. This is natural because children are curious by nature and their questions are often innocent observations, not judgments.
However, if we don’t address these questions correctly, with understanding and openness, our children may start forming assumptions and biases, picking up hints from their surroundings. Teaching children to embrace differences without labelling or judging others is now more important than ever in today’s diverse society.
In Buddhism, non-judgement isn’t just about accepting others––it’s about cultivating a compassionate mind that is aware. By being more mindful and accepting, we can help our children develop kindness, understanding and a healthier perspective on the world.
So, how can we help our children accept differences non-judgmentally? It starts with our thoughts, words, and actions.
What is non-judgment through a Buddhist perspective?
Non-judgment means observing people and situations without attaching labels or personal biases. It’s about seeing things as they truly are rather than through the lens of our opinions. This practice fosters compassion and acceptance while helping us maintain a balanced state of mind.
Our minds naturally categorise and label things––good or bad, right or wrong, familiar or strange. These automatic judgments can shape how we interact with the world, sometimes creating unnecessary suffering.
These labels of what is good or bad, are thoughts that pass through our mind. Meditation techniques such as mindfulness allows us to develop self-awareness and recognise thoughts as though they were clouds passing through. This allows us to let go of judgements, thoughts, and labels, that come to our mind.
Why Teaching Non-Judgment Matters
Encourages Empathy & Inclusion – When children learn to approach people with openness instead of judgment, they develop deeper empathy and stronger relationships with others.
Reduces Bullying & Prejudice – Many stereotypes, biases and bullying come from early judgments about people. If we teach children to recognise differences without labelling them, we can create a more accepting and kind society.
Builds Self-Awareness – Practicing non-judgment teaches children to be more aware of their thoughts and reactions. They learn to pause and think about different viewpoints instead of reacting immediately.
Promotes Emotional Well-Being – Being judgmental can cause frustration, resentment and unnecessary stress. Teaching children to accept others as they are, helps them develop emotional resilience and inner peace.
Our Role as Caregivers
As parents and caregivers, we play a crucial role in shaping our children’s mindsets and attitudes. Children absorb not only what we tell them but also how we behave. If they hear us making assumptions about others, for example, based on their appearance, background or behaviour, they will likely adopt the same approach. The opposite is also true––when we model kindness, curiosity, and open-mindedness, they will learn to do the same.
Have you ever judged someone quickly––perhaps a stranger in the lift, a colleague or even a relative? What was your assumption? Did it turn out to be true? Recognising our tendencies to judge can help us be more mindful in teaching children to pause before forming opinions.
At Thekchen Choling, our spiritual director teaches us values such as non-judgement and inclusivity for people of all walks of life. Devotees practise according to these values, ensuring that everyone feels welcomed and accepted no matter who they are. This promotes harmony, unity and unconditional acceptance for all.
Practical Strategies to Teach Non-judgment
Teaching non-judgment is not about ignoring differences; rather, it is about helping children appreciate diversity without labelling them. Here are some ways to do this in everyday life:
1. Encourage Open Conversations About Differences
Children are naturally curious and they cannot help but question differences, whether about culture, language, abilities or beliefs when they notice them. Instead of ignoring these questions, they should be met with openness and used as a teaching opportunity.
For example, if your child asks why someone is using a wheelchair, you can explain that their legs work differently so they use the wheelchair to get around, just like how some people wear glasses to see better.
This normalises differences rather than making them seem strange or “other”.
2. Model Non-Judgment in Everyday Situations
Children learn by watching adults around them. If we want them to be more accepting and less judgmental, we must model that behaviour in our daily interactions.
Think about how often we laugh at viral memes or videos showing young children using bad words picked up from adults. While it may seem harmless and even funny, it’s a clear example of how easily children absorb and repeat what they see or hear. The same applies to how they learn to judge others. If they hear us making fun of someone’s appearance, or criticising a stranger’s behaviour, they will copy these attitudes.
What can we do instead? We can practice mindful speech and reactions. For example, if we see someone behaving differently from what we’re used to, we may say, “Everyone has their way of doing things, and that’s okay.” Or if the child notices a cultural difference, we can explain, “People come from different backgrounds, and that makes the world interesting.”
By being intentional with our words and actions, we set a powerful example for our children, showing them that embracing differences is a natural part of a kind and open-minded life.
3. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness helps both adults and children become more aware of their thoughts and reactions before jumping to conclusions. One way to cultivate this habit is by pausing before forming an opinion. For example, when your child makes a judgmental comment, ask them “What makes you think that?” or “Could there be another reason why the person is behaving like that?”
Encouraging our children to pause and reflect teaches our children to consider various viewpoints instead of reacting based on initial assumptions.
Creating a More Compassionate Future
Raising children who embrace differences and avoid labels is not about ignoring diversity—it’s about helping them see the world with kindness and understanding. When we cultivate non-judgment, we help our children become more empathetic, and compassionate individuals who can connect with people from all walks of life.
By practising mindfulness and kindness, we set an example for the next generation to follow.
If you’d like to delve deeper into Buddhist teachings and mindful perspectives to life , visit Thekchen Choling temple at Jalan Besar. We are a vibrant Vajrayana Buddhist community committed to helping individuals on their spiritual journeys. You can also listen to Singha Rinpoche’s Dharma teachings on YouTube to gain deeper insights into Buddhist wisdom and everyday mindfulness.