Embracing Death without Fear: A Buddhist Approach
During the Qing Ming season,
while we remember our departed loved ones and pray for all sentient beings to have a good rebirth, we are also reminded of our own mortality. Death is the final stitch that no one escapes. Yet despite knowing its inevitability, death continues to shock us. For some, the mere mention of death conjures a shroud of fear, a primal instinct to cling desperately to what we have.
Yet, it is the conversation of death that will lead us to a deeper contemplation about life. It was the thought of death that drove Prince Siddhartha to leave his home behind in search of a path to liberation from suffering.
In fact, reflecting about death is an important Buddhist practice. The common conclusion that many come to is that death is inescapable and should be accepted as part and parcel of life. However, a more nuanced understanding goes further. The belief is this: since all we cling to as real is impermanent and ends with death, what we should be letting go is our attachment to cultivate equanimity towards all sentient beings.
Impermanence as the essence of existence
"In the end, only three things matter:
how much you loved, how gently you lived,
and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you."
- Buddha
Central to Buddhist philosophy is the concept of impermanence. The Buddha taught that all things, including life itself, are transient and subject to change. Understanding impermanence allows us to embrace the ephemeral nature of life and recognize death as a natural part of this ever-changing cycle. Instead of fearing death as an end, we can see it as a transition to another form of existence.
Cultivating mindfulness and presence
Mindfulness is a key practice in Buddhism that involves being fully present in the moment without judgment. By cultivating mindfulness, we learn to let go of regrets about the past and anxieties about the future. This practice helps us to approach death with a sense of clarity and acceptance, focusing on the present moment rather than dwelling on what is beyond our control. If anything, the nearness of death should prompt us to live more fully than ever. Are we living like every day is our last?
“If it’s something which can be changed
No need to worry.
If it’s something which never can change,
Also no point to worry.”
- Shantideva
Cultivating compassion
Cultivating compassion towards ourselves and others helps us to approach death with a sense of grace and understanding. When we live with compassion, we nurture connections that extend beyond the boundaries of life and death, fostering a sense of interconnectedness with all beings.
The Dalai Lama beautifully expresses this sentiment, saying, "Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them." By extending kindness and understanding, we create a sense of interconnectedness that transcends the boundaries of life and death.
Contemplating the nature of reality
Contemplate the interconnected web of existence, where every being and phenomenon is intricately linked. The Buddha's teaching on interdependence reminds us that we are not isolated entities but integral parts of a vast cosmic dance. As we reflect on impermanence and interdependence, the fear of death gradually loses its grip, replaced by a profound sense of unity with all that is.
When we imagine ourselves as part of a large web of existence, we learn to surrender to the unfolding of existence. Through acceptance, we find peace in knowing that death is a part of the universal order and that all things must eventually pass away.
Letting go of the ego
"Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness."
- Thich Nhat Hanh
The Buddhist concept of non-self challenges the notion of a fixed, separate self. When we let go of our attachment to material possessions, relationships, and even our own ego, we free ourselves from the fear of losing what is impermanent, including our physical form. Recognising that our true essence transcends the physical body can alleviate the fear of death. By keeping the wish to benefit all sentient beings in becoming a Buddha; having a Bodhicitta heart, we can face death without fear as we have dedicated our lives towards a meaningful and greater purpose.
The journey continues
Embracing Buddhist principles empowers us to face death with equanimity, to transcend the confines of fear and embrace the infinite journey of existence.
In Buddhism, death is not the end but a transition, a continuation of the infinite journey of consciousness. Ajahn Brahm, a prominent Theravada monk, shares this perspective, "Life is like a river. When we die, it's as if we are carried around the bend and out of sight. But the river keeps flowing."
Riding through the cyclical nature of existence until enlightenment is an ongoing journey. If you are searching for a community to anchor and empower yourself to live more meaningfully, the doors to Thekchen Choling are always open. Come join us in prayers and teachings.